I remember going to work and thinking it felt like Fall...my very most favorite time of year...when the air is crisp, but not cold and it has a smell...a crisp fall smell...I LoVe Fall! I remember calling Natalie to see how everything was, how Noah was, and to do the usual Mom thing and make sure she was in bed, and not getting up....and to check if the Lovenox had come in or not. It hadn't...I was worried, and remember telling her, "We need to call somewhere else, and do SOMETHING because I just know the clot is getting bigger." Colby assured me that he had called and checked everywhere, and all was being done that could be done to get the Lovenox. Finally, around afternoon the Lovenox came in. Colby picked it up the second they called to let him know it was there.....
The baby...Natalie was worried about the health of the baby more than herself. She opened the package of Lovenox and got out all the papers and started reading the contradictions, the side effects, ALL of it, (there's that worry syndrome again). She called me at work to read to me the part that stated "do not take if pregnant".......I assured her that the Dr.'s know what they are doing and they wouldn't prescribe something that would harm the baby. She was so worried that it was going to harm the baby. I told her to call the Doctors office and express her concerns. She did, and never got past the nurse who expressed to her that taking Lovenox while pregnant was completely safe. She called me again, at work, to tell me what the nurse had told her. She didn't like the answer and was upset, crying...still so worried about the baby. I told her that she was in charge of her own body and if she felt that strongly about it to call the Doctors office again and tell them her concerns.
She called me again. I remember it being around 2:00 or so in the afternoon...she was still upset, worried about the baby, and she said through tears "I'll just do it, but I don't want to. I just don't want to.".....if there is one thing that replays in my mind, to this day, it is the fact that she knew something was wrong...
My phone rang at work perhaps 5 -6 minutes after hanging up from that last conversation with Natalie --this time it was Colby. In a panicked voice--"Sherie, Natalie passed out!"....Me: "What do you mean she passed out?"--- Colby: "We were lying on the bed together, and she passed out!"----Me: "Is she still out?"---"YES" -"Colby call 911"-- "I already did. Please hurry, please come here"-- "I'm on my way"--
I ran to my car and started on my way. I remember thinking, "Should I go to the hospital and meet them there, or should I go to their house?"..."to their house", was my first thought. I started praying...no pleading..."Please Heavenly Father, let her be alright"...and while I was pleading....I stopped pleading...and my prayer changed to "Please Heavenly Father, whatever thy will is....help us to handle whatever it is"... I knew that this something was much worse than "passing out"... just as I knew...she was a girl...before I ever met her.
I saw a firetruck, ambulance, and police car, all in front of Colby and Natalie's darling home. I ran in....to find Colby standing there, holding Noah... I saw a huddle of EMT's around Natalie on the floor...It was quiet---one of them looked at me. I remember the look on his face was one of despair....I remember that there didn't seem to be a feeling of rushing to get her out of there. They were quietly working on Natalie...the officer wouldn't allow me to go closer---then they put Natalie on a stretcher, and started to wheel her out...they remained completely circled around her...I could see nothing but her feet... they were blue. I remember seeing her blue feet and thinking --she is already gone. I knew it.
I took Noah from Colby and told him to go with her in the ambulance, and I would be right behind him. He didn't have a shirt on--"Colby, you need to put a shirt on"..they were gone -- but no sirens, I don't remember them using the sirens... I stood there for a second in the house, in shock, not knowing what to do first, and right then Kent walked in the front door -- he had fear in his eyes--everything had happened so quickly that neither Colby or I had called Kent. He had no idea what had happened or what was going on, he said he just had a feeling that he needed to go to Natalie's house, and he came. I said, "She's on her way to the hospital, she's unconscious."
When they put us in a "quiet room" and assigned us a social worker, I was mad. I didn't want to go a "quiet room"--I knew why we were being taken there--this was bad, and this was serious. There we were, our family, Colby's family, Colby and Noah waiting for someone to come to talk to us. It seemed like forever--
Natalie returned home that day...back to her Heavenly Father, beyond the veil.
Life will never be the same without Natalie here with us. But how thankful we are that we were lucky enough to have her here for 23 incredible years. What a blessing Noah is to all of us. We see her in him. You look in his eyes and feel almost as if you are looking into hers. He is a gift that reminds us everyday, how precious life is. Where is Heaven? Not very far, for we sense Natalie close by each and every day. Not a day goes by that something does not remind me of her...what a gift that is...it brings me joy and I smile. We do not question why she was taken from all of us here in our mortal existence. We know that it was her time and that it is all part of our Heavenly Father's plan. We simply know that she was needed there more.
It is my hope that you will find joy in what we post on this blog....Natalie's blog...if she were here she would have so much fun with this blogging world. So between Stefanie, Melanie and myself...we will do it for her.
Forever, I love the word. I know that we will be together forever, that Natalie is ours forever. I know that Natalie, Colby and Noah are a forever family.
Here is NOW and there is FOREVER....we are living for "now" and we are living so that we will be together forever---until that day, we continue to love you Natalie.
9 comments:
This is such a beautiful and touching blog to remember Natalie. I am Rick and Ricki Conger's daughter, Julie, and can remember visiting your sweet family when we would come up to St. George when we were little. I remember looking up to her. She is such a spiritual and beautiful girl! Thank you for sharing this story it has touched my heart profoundly.
Okay, So I don't know you, but my heart goes out to you and your family. I can't stay away from this blog. Im so touched by Natalie, and her story, I can't stand it. I sat in my room and cried. I too have factor v Leiden, so this hits home to me pretty hard. Anyways- thank you for your blog, I hope you don't mind if I check back.
Beautifully done. Thank you.
What a beautiful girl Natalie was! I didn't know her personally, but I do remember her from Woodward when we went to 6th grade. I will be back to visit this blog often so I hope you don't mind. Noah is such a cute little guy and she couldn't have left your family a better gift than him. I can't believe how strong your family seems to be. Amazing!
(I am a friend of Tiff's and my brother Eric and his wife Janae are in Louisville so Stephanie knows them)
Wow, truly AMAZING! What a wonderful honor to such a beautiful girl! I don't know any of you, but I do remember hearing about this happening ( even living in SLC). I recently lost my own brother very suddenly, and reading the story of you driving and praying and just knowing, is my story clear down to that dumb quiet room. I hate that room. I would love to in some way change that part of such a bad situation. Our social worker was wonderful, but what is there to say at such a shocking time? My brother died Sept. 16, 2007 at age 32. He left behind a cute little wife and a sweet 2 year old daughter. Thank you for doing this blog, thank you!
What a handsome little stud! I can't believe how big he is. She sure did bring a beautiful little guy into this world!
You don't know who I am but I had to leave a comment, I was just randomly looking through blogs and came across this. I don't know who you are but the tears are streaming down my face. I am so sorry for your loss, I grew up with a mom and 2 sisters. We are so very close, and I just can't imagine. Natalie is beautiful, her family is beautiful. You are all in my prayers tonight, I pray your faith and love for each other will carry you through. I also believe that you will all be together again someday.
I am sitting here with tears streamming down my cheeks.You are such a close loving family.I feel so lucky to be your friend.You have tought me so much in life,Sherie.This was such a hard time for my little family,too. We loved Natalie so much.She was a beautiful girl.I'm so glad families are forever!!Love you,Patty
Wow, I want to follow up on every one of your beautiful comments. Hi Julie! It is so fun to hear from you...say Hi to your family, we miss all of you! ...Amber, factor V Leiden is so common, I hope that we can make more people aware..and need to inform that Natalie's case was an exception and not the rule..My mother has this factor is 76 yrs old & doing great. I am 50 this year, have this factor and have never had a clot....I would love to know more about you and your history of Factor V...Allie, what a small world this is! How incredible that you know Tiffany, she is such a blessing to our family! and I have heard Stefanie talk of Eric & Janae..in fact, I think I have met them in Kentucky! Thank you for your kind words!...Stac, I am so sorry for your loss with your brother. I hope that you feel the same comfort we do each day knowing that you will be together again..His daughter will know him, I have learned through Noah, that the veil between them is very thin..come back often..And Deirdra, LOVE you...and miss you, you were like my little red headed girl..just a part of us!..Natalie did leave us a great gift in Noah didn't she?....and Patty, words can't describe...how could I have gotten through this without my friend?..you were one of the first to see Natalie when she was born...and there for me when she passed away..Yes,I'm so glad families and friends are forever!
I love you!
I am so glad that I happened on to this blog. This is BreeAnn Borrowman Warner. I think of Natalie so much and want you to know how much I admired her. She was always such a sweet friend to me. I can only imagine the type of Mom and Wife she was. It was an honor and a blessing to know Natalie. I too love the word Forever and know that it is how we will be in Eternity.
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