My thoughts today....5 years since Natalie left so suddenly. No fancy poems, no profound quotes, just the thoughts going through my mind. I had a friend ask if it gets any easier, and I find that so hard to answer. Do I want it to get easier? And if it gets easier, does that mean that I miss her less? There is a fear inside me that as the days, months, years pass, that she will fade from me and I will lose her again. But I can say that 5 years later, she is still as close to me as she was this day 5 years ago. Today I can close my eyes and see her smile and hear her laugh. I see her eyes each time I look at Noah. I see her beautiful smile in her sisters faces. Melanie has her mannerisms, Stefanie, her sense of humor. If you ask her sisters they will tell you how surreal it is to have passed Natalie in age...milestones that have been hard for them to hurdle. As they have become mothers and brought babies into this world, they have a connection to Natalie that is unquestionably strong....there is a reverence for these tiny new spirits that even Noah understands. A day does not go by that I do not think of her... something or someone will remind me of her...and I feel joy. I am so blessed to have friends and family who love and remember her...especially today.
I love you Natalie.....Mom
