My thoughts today....5 years since Natalie left so suddenly. No fancy poems, no profound quotes, just the thoughts going through my mind. I had a friend ask if it gets any easier, and I find that so hard to answer. Do I want it to get easier? And if it gets easier, does that mean that I miss her less? There is a fear inside me that as the days, months, years pass, that she will fade from me and I will lose her again. But I can say that 5 years later, she is still as close to me as she was this day 5 years ago. Today I can close my eyes and see her smile and hear her laugh. I see her eyes each time I look at Noah. I see her beautiful smile in her sisters faces. Melanie has her mannerisms, Stefanie, her sense of humor. If you ask her sisters they will tell you how surreal it is to have passed Natalie in age...milestones that have been hard for them to hurdle. As they have become mothers and brought babies into this world, they have a connection to Natalie that is unquestionably strong....there is a reverence for these tiny new spirits that even Noah understands. A day does not go by that I do not think of her... something or someone will remind me of her...and I feel joy. I am so blessed to have friends and family who love and remember her...especially today.
I love you Natalie.....Mom
16 comments:
I think that the correct answer is that it gets easier and it gets harder.
Wow..that Natalie sported every hairdo in the book...it's as if she knew she had to fit them all in during her short sojourn.
My heart is with you...and i want you to know that I am crying wonderful tears thinking of your reunion with your sweet daughter someday...I bet her hair will look better than ever...to go right along with her smile.
5 years ago today. 3:00PM... I was on my way to Natalie's after school. I knew she was on bedrest and wanted to visit her. On my way there, I passed Melanie, she was headed to Natalie's. I passed "an ambulance". i headed home, I figured Nat and Mel would be having some sister time... 4 hours later, I was getting done with my Psychology class. I went home, my mom wasn't home, she was at the Danjanovich's. My husband had a look on his face, a look I remember only too well. Natalie was gone. Life as I knew it was gone, and always will be. Time. Sherie, does it get easier? I can say, no it doesn't. I find myself thinking of Natalie and what she would be thinking each and every day. Natalie was my strength. She helped me through some of the hardest things in my life. When I didn;t make the volleyball team, she was there, driving around Bloomington Dr. with you, Sherie, to find me to give me a bag of Hershey Kisses. All the little things come back to me each time I think of her. Remembering her funeral. Noah was crying in the procession line and you asked if I would take him outside. Noah never settled down when I held him but this day was different. We were out on the church lawn and Natalie was there. Noah fell asleep in my arms and I held him through the entire funeral. I wouldn't have rather been anywhere else that day than out there holding Noah, with Natalie's arms around me. Five years...
Love you Needles.
Love, Threadles
I, too, remember 5 years ago like it was just the other day...where I was, what I was doing, even what the weather was like.
If this was 20 years ago, you would been planning some wonderful Halloween birthday party with Natalie, and they were all wonderful parties. I'm sure she would be smiling at all the funny & sweet memories we have of her. Oh, her smile! Her smile is the one thing that never changed through all the years (and hair-styles).
What a sweet tribute to your beautiful daughter. Your family is so amazing. Your attitude, your comments, your blog posts. Everything is so perfect. You are such a great example to me. I have been thinking about you and still am so amazed at your strength and testimony. I just love you and your family. JL
I hope you don't mind me commenting on your blog,, but the feelings you expressed are so similar to the feelings I have about my brother who died 7 years ago. I to am lucky to have a beautiful reminder of him through my nephew like you have through Noah. I guess I don't have an answer because I still cry a little and laugh a little and miss him terribly! My thoughts are with you and your family today
My dear friend,Sherie.You have such an amazing, positive outlook about Natalie. Its hard to beleive we have been without her for five years.We miss her so much.She was so beautiful.I'm sure she had a hard time parting with Hallie before she came down here.I love the pitcures of Noah and Hallie.We are thinking of your family today.We love all of you.Patty, Steve and all of our family
We are thinking about you today! I can't believe it has been 5 years. As I was moving, I found my "My trip to St. George Book" you made me like 18 years ago. It was so fun for me to look through it and see me and your girls in our patriotic clothes, our huge bows, and our perfectly fixed hair! Such great memories I was blessed to have with her! Hallie is such a reminder to me of the circle of life! We are so lucky to have forever! Love you!
I am so grateful for the blog so I can get to know Natalie. I wish I would have known her...or you then. I do feel like sometimes I did know her. I think..maybe I was in a store and standing right next to her in line. I probably noticed her darling smile and that hair! Such a doll. She looks like you Sherie. Acutally, I see Natalie in you and your two daughters. I know she is happy we remember her, and happy your making new memories with these precious babies she is sending you.
I am so grateful for the blog so I can get to know Natalie. I wish I would have known her...or you then. I do feel like sometimes I did know her. I think...maybe I was in a store and standing right next to her in line. I probably noticed her darling smile and that hair! Such a doll. She looks like you Sherie. Acutally, I see Natalie in you and your two daughters. I know she is happy we remember her, and happy you're making new memories with these precious babies she is sending you.
I came across your blog in January after my sister passed away. Natalie was such a beautiful woman with a very sweet spirit! Thank you for sharing your sweet thoughts with us. You'll see her again one day!
Sherie, I have thought about you this whole month, I know how hard it is on my mom, and I can imagine how hard it must be for you too. I remember going to Natalie's funeral and I just couldn't belive the courage you had to get up and speak. You are a strength to all of us. You have a truly special family. Melanie has been the very bestfriend anyone could ask for and I thank you for raising such wonderful girls.
Sherie, I always come to Natalie's web site when I need to feel better about life. I love to think about and remember Natalie. What a giving, loving person. Thank you for keeping her memory fresh for us. --Kristen
Sherie, Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you. Five years goes by fast. I can so relate to your feelings. I don't think that it gets easier I just think that the Lord adds a little thickness to our veils to help us go on. At least for me, if I felt the pain that I felt in the beginning everyday I wouldn't be able to live my life. I cherish your friendship and the example that you are to me.
You know I'm not a good blog "commenter" and I could just call you and say this, but I want you to know that I admire your strength through all that has happened. I remember that day all too well. I remember you asking what just happened? It's funny how Heavenly Father gives us the ability to remember the good things and happy times. I look at the girls and know that they ache to see her and have her give them advice that only an older sister can provide. They are everything I think she would have hoped for. She is watching over all the time. And ....does Hallie have a definite "Natalie" look or what? On another note, I'm so glad that we share some of the cutest,sweetest grandkids in the world. They are AWESOME! Can't wait to meet our newest arrival. Talk to you soon.
What a beautiful page remembering your daughter. May God give you the strength you need when it gets hard. I can only imagine the loss you fill sometimes. Seeing Noah must bring a little part of her back to you. Thank you for sharing her with us.
thank you for sharing this.
xo.
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