Are you listening?

I love this book...I've had it for years. I use it every time I've taught a lesson on the Holy Ghost and listening to the still small voice. It teaches about listening to the sweet soft voice of the Spirit. It's a beautiful book, with beautiful pictures....

The gift of the Holy Ghost is one of the most precious gifts I have been given. With Natalies death my experience with the Holy Ghost has been beyond profound. As the Comforter, He is my constant companion, with a constant reassurance that all is well. I've learned that in order feel His companionship or listen to His promptings....I need to be "quiet"...It's hard for me to explain, but I personally have learned that the Spirit cannot and will not dwell when the radio is blaring, or the TV is spewing worldly junk. ...I drive in a silent car...it is my haven...I do my best praying, thinking, and listening in the car...which brings me to an experience I had the other day...in my car.

I've contemplated relating this experience with the "still small voice"...because it wasn't so small or soft....it was strong and loud....it had to be so that I would listen... I'm not proud of the fact that I didn't listen the first time....and here is the lesson that once again I have learned...and I wonder if Heavenly Father ever gets tired of having to repeat himself?.......

I was leaving work, just a few steps from getting into my car, when from the direction of a rocky area with trees to the side of the parking lot I heard a voice call out simply and roughly "Hey you"..... I glanced in the direction of the voice and at first glance it looked like a straggly haired, grungy, perhaps drunk woman sitting in some rocks under a tree. Eww..was my first thought and I climbed into my car thinking that it was some drunk homeless person who wanted some money or something like that. As soon as I backed up, the thought came to me..."even if it is a drunk homeless person, that was rude of me to not go see if she was OK".... my rude self kept driving...wanting to go home...out of the parking lot...

Up the street I'm driving... the thought enters my mind "would if it wasn't a homeless drunk person?...and they needed help"... I'm still driving my rude self up the street...

Then the voice..."you need to go back"

I'm still driving...the guilt is consuming me... how could I ignore someone calling out like that?

The voice....stronger this time "YOU need to go back "

OK, I'm listening now....I don't want to go back, I'm telling myself, it was a grungy drunk homeless person and what am I going to do with this person? .... still the voice "GO BACK, you NEED to go back" OK--OK.....I'm listening....

I'm now at the top of the street...I have two options, I can turn left to go home....or I can turn right and flip around and GO BACK....again the voice.... "you NEED to go back"..

I feel Natalie close... seriously Mom...are you listening?

I turned right, flipped around and headed back towards work.....maybe she'll be gone..I'm telling myself...already feeling bad for having not listened when she first called out.

Back in the parking lot....back in my same parking spot where I park every day. I get out...I take a breath....not knowing what I'm about to encounter...I peek in the direction of the tree...which is still hidden from my view... I take a few more steps..

"Hello?" I say...kind of hoping for no response....but instead I hear....

"I've been waiting for you"......waiting for me...waiting for me to listen. ...why didn't I listen the first time?

I walk over and under the tree in the rocks is an little old feeble woman...hair dischevled, struggling, fallen, can't get up, lost, doesn't know where she is, or where she lives....calling out for someone to help her...and waiting...waiting for someone to listen. ....waiting for me....why didn't I listen the first time?

I help her up, she can hardly stand....she doesn't know how long she has been in the rocks...she is disoriented, she keeps telling me she had been waiting for me.....

I know immediately that she must be from the assisted living home located up the street that I pass to and from work each day. I take her there....sure enough a Orderly is outside walking around....appears that he is trying to find something....someone.... I pull up...I tell him, I think I found who he is looking for...I did...she's at home just in time for dinner he tells her....she's hungry and tired.....and home.

I drive away... very much like a child, ashamed that the Spirit had to talk beyond a whisper for me to hear.. yet thankful that I listened and could help someone find their way back home for dinner.

I think perhaps I need to read my book again......and listen.