In a Rut...

Ever been in a Rut?...

I'm in one now

no creative juices flowing

no impressions

I know why

It's been a long crazy summer

hot

too hot

a LOT going on

a lot of coming and going

{on the weekends}

a lot of missing church

a lot of missing the sacrament

which {equals} Rut

which {equals} Natalie's further away

I'm missing His spirit

I'm missing Natalie's spirit

{I can tangibly feel her near..

and yes, even far}

Heavenly Father doesn't distance

himself from us...

we do the distancing

and we end up in

a Rut

I found this statement by President Spencer W. Kimball
“I find that when I get casual in my relationships with divinity and when it seems that no divine ear is listening and no divine voice is speaking, that I am far, far away. If I immerse myself in the scriptures the distance narrows and the spirituality returns."

Once again

I've learned a lesson

Excuse me...while I go read my scriptures

Introductions.....

I love to meet new people...but meeting new people and getting to know them always brings a little anxiety along with it ...because along with the introductions will always come the family questions..."how many children do you have?...

3 daughters...

"married or living at home?"

...married...

(here it comes)

"do they all live here?"

...yes & no...(anxiety starts to set in...)

where do I start?

I've got it down now, I start with Melanie...

then Stefanie

it's easy to explain where they both live...

...the whole time I'm talking I know I'm going to shock the person when I get to Natalie...and yet, I LOVE telling people about her.. and in the end...

by the time I've gotten to know them

...they know me

probably better than they wanted too...but mostly...

they know her...

and where she lives...

and...I wish you lived here...still

Love You, Mom and Dad

Dear Natalie,

We know we are the parents...you the daughter....loaned to us for 23 amazing years. But somehow the table has turned. You are leaps and bounds ahead of us...already finished your journey here...already passed this earthly test. We on the other hand...still here, still learning.

Be patient with us as we keep doing this enduring thing. We face everyday with hope and faith....you are always with us. Are you getting a kick out of watching us age and get lumpier, grayer (your Dad, much more than I) each year? We are.

Your sisters miss you, love you and don't like that they are older than you. They know you have kissed and loved and taught their little ones. They know you help them every day...stay close, they love that.

Noah is a blessing to us, we love him, we love that he looks just like you, except he might already be as tall as you...just kidding, but almost! He is preparing to be baptised this year...I know you must be so proud of him. He is the best big brother to Cutler and Lexie, he has your nurturing spirit.

We know you are doing the work that Heavenly Father needs you to do....we'll keep doing our part here.

Love you,
Mom and Dad

What Could Have Been...

It's true. Sometimes I have thoughts of "What could have been".

(I must confess...as Stefanie would say)

Is that wrong?

I hope that its normal...to wonder what life would be like

...if Natalie were still here

I know she would LOVE this...

each time I see it...I sit there with goose bumps

(you know you do too)

I imagine how much Natalie would LOVE the music...

Love....the story

..Glinda...OH my...Natalie was a Glinda if there EVER was one..

She was soooo good....with such a little bit of "Wicked"

...just enough to make you giggle...

Enough to leave

"a handprint on my heart"

Be Strong and of a Good Courage....

I love the Young Woman and Young Men's theme this year...

What does it mean to be "strong and of a good courage" to you?
For me it's living each day to the fullest, happy, feeling joy, feeling comfort

I feel Strong and of a Good Courage

I live this each and every day for you Natalie...

and will each and every day until we are together again

One Step At A Time...

I've been participating in "The Relay for Life" Event for the past two days..this event is once a year to raise money for cancer awareness and to pay tribute to those who are battling cancer, or have lost their battle with cancer.

Participating made me realize a couple things...

1. I'm out of shape!..{I know ,I know this, and I should have realized it before now, but you know....while I was w.a.l.k.i.n.g around the track..."older" men {much older than me} were sailing past me...jogging along in a smooth glide.
Seriously

2. There are so many people who are affected by cancer, I don't know {anyone} who doesn't know {someone}...who has not been touched by this hurrendous disease..my cute Dad, passed away from pancreatic cancer 10 years ago ... {way. too. soon.}

As we walk along they play inspiring music to help keep you motivated...and yes, I needed motivation when I was walking my hour and a half block at about 11:00p.m. last night...

I heard this song... by Jordan Sparks...{love it}

"We Live And We Learn To Take One Step At A Time

There's No Need To Rush

It's Like Learning To Fly

Or Falling In Love

It's Gonna Happen

And It's Supposed To Happen

That We Find The Reasons Why

One Step At A Time"

Sweet Noah has been doing a lot of {wondering} lately ....

Growing up...yet still a child

Understanding..

~One Step At A Time ~

Easter Found...

{eggs...by Noah}

a simple carton of eggs..

dipped in color

adorned with happy faces

hiding in the grass

waiting to be found...

Easter..
~Joy Found ~