Did I ever say Thank You?

November always brings about feelings of gratitude for me...what am I thankful for?....I've thought about doing this post for a lonnnnng time, and I think this is the right time..to {finally} do it.

When I think back to all the many acts of kindness that were shown to us when Natalie passed away...I always feel so bad that I was so....{not with it} enough to have properly "Thanked" everyone for {everything}

In thinking back, most of the hours, days and weeks...well, lets face it "months" that followed Natalie's death are a blur...mostly spent learning to "breathe in...breathe out".... and I know for a fact...looking back, I did not write a Thank You note. A proper, little folded in half, Thank You note...and I have major {guilt} over that ALL the time.

First of all I remember that the little note cards the funeral home gave us to use were..well, ugly and I remember thinking...they weren't Thank You worthy and couldn't possibly convey the depth of thanks that I wanted to write in them...Secondly I remember time and time again thinking about sitting down to write thank you notes and being so overwhelmed with the sheer magnitude of how many people I wanted to thank, that I simply did not know where to start. Thirdly, when I would try to put into words how thankful I was, I would end up in a blubbery mess, and couldn't make it through one note let alone hundreds which brings me now to... Fourthly{is that a word?}...here I am 6 years later having not written one, and wanting to make that right. Now, if I did write you a thank you note...I seriously don't remember doing it..remind me if I did. I'll be so proud of myself!

So this post is my Thank YOU...my sincere gratitude for all the many acts of kindnessess.. I want to list them ALL, which of course would be impossible. Perhaps I will have to do this again on another post as my memory allows. The only thing that I fear...is that I will forget somebody and that will bring another round of {guilt}...but know that deep inside we have NEVER forgot ANY acts of kindness that were shown to us... the following{few} are just the very tiny TIP of what my 6 yr. old memory can replay for now. I may not remember all the names, but my heart remembers ALL the love~{i'm only using first names...you know who you are}
Today I am filled with gratitude for:
~Jana and LeAnn who seconds after hearing the news, arranged emergency flights for my mother, Stefanie and Reagan to be here
~Mark for the priesthood blessings that carried us through, comforted us and allowed us to stand
~Michelle for holding the pieces together and being there for anything that was needed
~Carol the emergency room nurse who afterward told me that she had never seen a spirit fight so hard to "stay"
~Dr. Ott whom I know did all he could for Natalie..and more...I am thankful
~Patty for dropping everything, and making the long drive within minutes of hearing...and doing what best friends do. The hugs, tears and listening, taking care of my house, laundry and anything else that needed to be done.
~Dave & Helen, amazing friends who very first thing the morning after, were at our door with a full breakfast making sure we were fed and taken care of from the begining...
~Cafe Rio for the amazing respect they had for Colby, enough to close their doors on a busy Saturday afternoon to attend Natalie's funeral. I still remember the many employees from Cafe Rio that came to the viewing and funeral. It still amazes me. They also provided a meal for us that was so appreciated
~Ryan ...for the "Chili's" Chips and Salsa...I still remember vividly my family sitting at our kitchen counter one evening eating them and reminising.
~Bill from Pizza Factory...for the many, many nights of free meals that saved me time and time again when I couldn't find it in me to cook.
~Greg from Croshaw pies...for the many pies that we enjoyed with our family
~Jennifer and Nancy for an amazing meal and love and support that only friends can bring
~Kay for yummy homemade chicken fingers...that were and still are talked about to this day
~Gary for telling me to take all the time I needed
~Diane for the many phone calls, days and weeks after letting me just talk and share my feelings..and listening
~For the Dixie High students who came and encircled us with love and comfort by singing to us..and Natalie. This was perhaps the most profound act of kindness that we will never, never forget
~Mr. Spilsbury for taking such good care of Natalie's body..she looked angelic and beautiful. For making such a hard situation, such a spiritual one. And for his wife for sharing with me that she could feel Natalie near watching over her body...this comforted me so much.
~Jill, for being my sister, and doing ALL that only a sister can do.
~Debbie for the strength to sing an amazing song for Natalie at her funeral..that I still can hear to this day
~Annie for being a best friend and loving and taking care of Noah the day of the funeral


Flowers and Food, Thoughts and Prayers, Love and Hugs....
Did I ever say Thank You?